Why it’s important we have “Someone to Lean On”?

I was talking to a friend about our work, and we were discussing how we were doing on our projects. Then something she said, touched my heart, which inspired me to write this post. I have chosen to call it “Why it’s important we have ‘Someone to Lean On’?” So thank you, and you know who you are, I feel blessed that our paths have crossed. This is for you.

Why it’s important we have “someone to lean on”?, because we all need that connection and that support from one another. Otherwise we experience isolation and loneliness. However it’s not healthy to lean on someone all the time, but knowing that they are there provides us comfort. Also it is a great safety net.

Do you have “someone to lean on”?

I think we have “someone to lean on” for different areas of our life. I have Jim who I lean on for family stuff. I am also lucky to have a handful of school friends which I have stayed in contact with, and we try and meet up at least once a year. Although we don’t constantly keep in touch we all know we are there if support is ever needed. They are friends who I can act silly with and know that no one is judging.

I’m also lucky to have a group of cousins who I grew up with. Although we are all close, the girls are closer. I think of them as sisters from another mother (I never had a sister, just 2 brothers). They are my extended family, which brings me a lot of comfort. Unfortunately we are all spread over the world, but thankfully the internet has been a godsend.

As we get older we meet friends through our common interests, be it the gym or our kids schools? They are friends we enjoy being with, and you can count on them if you ever need cheering up.

Then I have the special friend I mentioned before. We are working on similar projects and we are providing accountability and support for each other. It’s great because we are on the same page and we get what each other are doing and why we are doing it, and understand the obstacles we face.

So do you need “someone to lean on” right now? Who are they? Sometimes just knowing they are there is enough.

What does it mean to “lean on someone”?

Some of us are afraid to lean on others because it might be taken as a sign of weakness. We are afraid of being judged and feel ashamed. However true friends would not see it like that. Your vulnerability and openness should make your friends want to comfort you and soothe the situation somehow.

Some of us are afraid to show our real struggles, and we may come across as someone who complains and moans. However if this is you, stop yourself for a moment and listen to the way you talk, is it possible you are struggling to the point where you should ask for help? Having “someone to lean on” means sharing the load, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to help you physically. They could be there providing support by listening.

Sometimes talking to someone gives you a new perspective.  Everyone has their own perspective on things, doesn’t mean one is right or the other is wrong.  Another person’s view on a situation, might even trigger a solution.

Sometimes saying thoughts out loud, highlight what has to be done. When you voice your concerns, the answer may pop out at you and make you may realise that all it takes is for you to do one thing to shift what’s going on in your head.

Sometimes that “someone to lean on” doesn’t even have to be there. All you have to do is ask yourself “what would (so and so) say?”

Feel good transaction

I think when two people open up to each other, it can be the most beautiful connection. Do you agree? Take for instance, when your friend comes to you with a problem, how do you see it? Do you judge her for confiding in you and being weak? Or do you sympathise and feel for them and want to help? I know which one I would feel.

When a friend chooses to confide in you it makes you feel really good knowing that they trust you and that they can rely on you. As a friend you want to make things better for them. So give a friend the chance to do the same for you and ultimately let them feel good about helping you out. I heard this somewhere, how it’s like a transaction. At the end of it, you both feel good one way or another.

When you “lean on someone”, you are giving the signal to the friend who is listening “Hey, it’s ok I’m here for you too”. One day your friend will need you.

To summarise

We all need “someone to lean on” at some point in our lives, and it should not be viewed as being weak but as an opportunity for deeper connection. When you do, you could be leaving the door open for your friendship to connect at a deeper level, because one day they might need you to be there for them. It can only strengthen your relationship.

So don’t bottle it all up and suffer in silence.

“A problem shared, is a problem halved.”

So my Ageless Tribe, I hope this post has made you consider finding “a wall to lean on”.

Don’t forget you are all amazing!

Keep living agelessly.

Kath XOXO

Heres a song for all of you – click link below. The words are very poignant.