What is holding you back?

What is holding you back?

• What is holding you back from taking any action?
• What is holding you back from moving forward?
• Are you stuck in a rut and not sure where to start?
• Are you waiting for the perfect moment?
• Are you afraid what people will say?
• Are you afraid people will judge you?

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I faced many obstacles and fears that were holding me back when I embarked on this journey. These obstacles were mental barriers. As I mentioned in my article Mindset is everything, some people call them “limiting beliefs” as they are negative thoughts that limit us. They hold us back from moving forward.

My Limiting Beliefs

Here are some limiting beliefs I had:

• I don’t have time
• I’m too tired
• People will laugh at me
• People are looking at me
• I don’t know what I’m doing
• I don’t know where to start
• I’m not ready
• I will do it later
• I can’t

These are thoughts I have in my mind, that I often have to put into context.

I ask myself, “Who has control of my mind?”………Of course the answer is “I do!”

Also, “Who or What is holding me back?”…… the answer is obvious to me now,………”It’s me!”

I have talked myself in and out of situations so many times, but I have finally learnt to act, take that small leap of action. A book I read by Mel Robbins is The 5 Second Rule which explains why this theory is effective. It uses a simple rule that when a thought or action enters your mind, count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and move. Act before your brain stops you. Interrupt your thoughts with action before the thought takes over. Too many times we think and ponder too much on the action instead of doing anything.

Overcoming my Limiting Beliefs

Below are a few examples of how I overcame my limiting beliefs. I reframed the situation.

I don’t have time

I don’t have time to exercise but this wasn’t true. The problem was, I was overcomplicating things, I thought I needed to have a workout program or routine. What I needed was, to just get started. So I began by setting my timer for 10 minutes every morning and stuck on my workout music playlist. Once I got started, a 10 minute workout was quick, if I felt like it, sometimes I would continue for a bit longer. But even if I didn’t it didn’t matter because I’d already done 10 minutes. Imagine if you did 10 minutes everyday, how would you feel? Plus also you have unconsciously formed a daily habit (more about habits in a later post).

I’m too tired

I used to feel tired a lot. Most of the time we feel sluggish because we’ve not moved much all day or that we are just dealing with mundane tasks. I learnt to shift my mood with music and exercise. Once I started exercising, it gave me more energy. Exercise boosts endorphins , dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, the feel good, happy hormones. Also the fitter I got, the better equipped I was to tackle the daily chores. Find what lifts your mood. It could be a walk in the park, a phone call to a friend, or an inspiring podcast.

People will laugh at me

Don’t let your fear of people laughing at you, stop you from moving forward. Like me with this blog. I was very unsure about this and what kind of reaction I would get from people. But I turned it around and thought “why am I doing this?”. People need to know about my journey so that they know they are not alone, and that it doesn’t matter where you are in your life, you can make it better. Action is key! So if there are naysayers out there, they aren’t important because it’s not them I’m doing this for.

People are looking at me

I used to be very self conscious. When I first joined the gym, I was at my heaviest. I thought people would be looking at me. I’m glad I pushed this thought aside. It turned out everyone was concentrating on their own routine. If anyone was doing the watching it was me, I was admiring how strong these people were. I was watching and learning what they did, which leads me onto my next limiting belief……

I don’t know what I’m doing

This was my fear of starting something new, but everyone’s got to start somewhere. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Seek help and advice. This shows interest and people like that. It’s not a weakness. When I started this blog, I didn’t have a clue what to do or where to start. So I sought help online. There is always someone who’s at a place where you want to be. Follow them (but don’t be creepy, ha! ha!)

I don’t know where to start

I often felt overwhelmed. I would have things to do for work, things to do for home and things to do for the kids, daily tasks………the list felt endless. Everything would swirl around my head. I didn’t know where to start. I felt paralyzed. The only way to clear my head was to get everything down on paper, doing a brain dump. Doing this put things in perspective. I could prioritise. Things usually weren’t as bad as I thought. It also mean’t I could check things off as I did them and that felt good.

I’m not ready or it’s not the right time

Perfectionism can be a flaw. Perfectionists regard mistakes as failures. So they would rather not start something than take the risk of not getting it right. Instead they keep putting it off. This was totally me. I used to always wait for the perfect time or moment, but realised the perfect moment sometimes never came. This would mean a missed opportunity. The right time is now! That’s when you are feeling most inspired. ” Just do it!” What have you got to lose. Things are always a working progress. You can tweak it as you go on.

I’ll do it later

Procrastination, there’s always tomorrow. I used to keep putting off the boring or tedious jobs. My automatic response was “I’ll do it later”, however by shifting my mindset and reframing these jobs, I got them done. If I get these jobs out of the way, I can fully relax and won’t feel guilty indulging in things I enjoy.

I can’t!

I can’t….yet! Do things that are out of your comfort zone. I couldn’t do tricep press ups, so I made myself try to do 1 every night before bed until I was able to do 1 properly, then 2, then 3……..and so on. Now I can do 10. Don’t just do the easy things. Practice things you are bad at, until you get better. Just take that small step forward, towards your goal.

These are some of the fears that kept me from taking action. I realised most of it was in my head. We all have a critic in our head. Just recognise it’s your mind voicing it’s thoughts and it’s not real. Acknowledge it and push past it. You might even surprise yourself.

Fears of Ageing

Fears are often there as a warning and are there for us to take notice not stand in our way. As we age, there are things that we have to start considering. Identifying these areas means we can take preventative measures.

• Afraid of becoming less mobile and physically unfit – in the back of our minds we all fear growing old and not being able to look after ourselves. As we age our muscle mass and strength decreases accompanied by progressive increase in fat mass, and our bone density decreases which results in increased joint stiffness. We can improve the quality of our life as we age by improving our diet and incorporating more strength exercises into our workouts.
• Afraid of memory loss and dementia – we know that a healthy lifestyle, physical exercise, controlling your stress levels and exercising the mind can reduce the risk of developing dementia.
• Afraid of loneliness & boredom – to prevent loneliness we must maintain social connections by phone, social media, or joining a club. Finding a sense of purpose prevents boredom eg. volunteering.
• Ageism – we may experience less favourable treatment due to our age. It can be experienced in the workplace, while out shopping, or at the doctors. eg. losing your job, being refused interest free credit or being refused a referral by a doctor to a consultant. It can impact your confidence. Work together and create a society where elders are valued and respected. No matter what your age you will still be you. You will still have the same interests and passions, and will discover new activities.

Summary

What is holding you back is the reason why most of us fail to act. They are our thoughts, but understand that your thoughts are not necessarily the truth because you are the one who are controlling them. Shift your negative thoughts to positive, empowering ones instead. Do things that make you feel good and lift your mood.

Don’t let your limiting beliefs and fears hold you back from taking action, Just aim to move forward even if it’s one step at a time. Progress not perfection.

Often fears are there as a warning, and not to hold you back. Don’t let age hold you back from pursuing your dreams and achieving your goals. They may just be a caution to you, which may influence you to make more positive lifestyle choices to improve your quality of life.

Think about what could be holding you back? Are they the truth? What small step can you take today that can shift this belief? Please share your thoughts.

Next read about your habits and lifestyle choices.

As always,

Living Agelessly

Kath